I Know I Was Doing Something Wrong
After almost 3 Months that I didn’t have option than to date John, when I mean I don’t have option! I mean he was the only man I had and he was there for me whenever I need anything.
We started dating. Seriously I didn’t love John much but he spent money on me. He will buy everything I needed even including my underwear; I don’t think anything is wrong with that?
I was 27 when we met while John was 33 and am the second born in my family. My mother has been disturbing me to bring home my fiancé she always say it loudly “Ma lo mu enitiojeunkanu wale mi ooo” (Don’t bring someone who cannot feed himself to my house ooo)
And when I met John it was an answer to my mother’s prayer because John was working in a bank and earning good money. He has two cars then; one was given to him from the office and he owns the second one and was living in 3-bedroom flat apartment in Ikoyi Lagos.
This is the kind of life I want for myself. Though my parent is not rich but we are okay because we can still afford to eat whatever we want to eat then, and my father’s business was going fine and my mummy too.
After 5 months we started our relationship, I can feel it that I didn’t have 10% of love for John but I was able to manage that relationship with money.
The day he came to my house I was not around and he met my mother, when I came back my mother was so happy and she said to me: O ti moju lo oja, that is (You have found a good thing)
She doesn’t even care if John is a born-again Christian, if he came from a good family, all what she cares for is; he has money.
She started calling John every time. Anytime am with my friend she will call to ask if am with him. After like 9months in that relationship, John got a loan in his bank and gave me to start business because I told him that I will love to do business and he always complaint that he doesn’t like my work because of the stress I pass through everyday and there is no money there.
Wow! So, I can be so lucky that a man will give me 800k to start a business.
I was so happy, I told my mum, and she called him, prayed for him very well. I begin to love John more and I can see that he is a child of God because he attends church regularly but something was still telling me that John is not the right man for me.
What else do you want in a man? Joy my friend told me that when I told her I was not comfortable marrying John. Not that I was in relationship with any one, in fact! I don’t have time for any man then but I can’t deny my feeling, I was not too close to God but I can see that God was giving me a sign.
When our relationship clocks a year that my parent was asking me what is the next line of action. I was disturbed and I don’t have an option than to share the story with my pastor.
He encouraged me to have 3days fasting and prayer which I did. Our pastor will never tell you anything even If God show him something, he will want you to pray yourself and know the mind of God.
After my fasting and prayers, I called him to tell him what I saw in my dream and he said my dream is related to what he saw about me. (I will not write what I saw in that dream to save the time)
My pastor advise me to pray more and he said God will connect me with someone very soon, but because of what John has done for me I can’t even think of any man again.
As my pastor said, it happened one faithful day a young man came to my shop to buy Kitchen tools. He was very funny the way he was talking, He called himself Shola and asked for my name too.
He asked for my number before he left, I don’t have option than to give him because he promised to give me a call that I will send another thing to him in future. Who doesn’t want to retain customer?
He called me that evening when he got home to thank me for the discount, I gave him. And he places order for another thing as he promised. He just asked for my bank details, sent the money and told me to send it through dispatch rider which I did.
Wow… within 12 hours I got a good customer who easily trust me. Sometimes he will call and tell me that he just wants to say Hi to me. Sometimes he does send message early in the morning and late in the night.
Seriously, there is something about Shola that is different, even I myself cannot explain. Can this man be the man that my pastor said I will meet? I kept on asking myself different questions.
We became good friend, every time am with Shola am always happy, whenever he calls, I feel like have arrived and I and John cannot discuss up to 20 minutes before we will be tired of ourselves.
Though it was not like that before and I wonder why everything changed when we started our relationship. There was no romantic, nothing, nothing. Everything was just boring but he always gives me whatever I asked for.
One faithful day Shola and I engaged in a talk and he told me everything about himself. He was doing business and money was not coming yet.
He was so opened to me, he told me every single thing about himself and he asked me to say the same thing which I did but I didn’t tell him that part of my fiancé. Anytime he asked about my fiancé I will just talk it over and we change the topic.
He was not even bother about it. What kind of a man is this? Very free to everyone and very open but he has no money.
According to him, he decides to work for himself after school, he said he believed in building his own business that instead of spending years in another person’s company he can spend just 10years to build his company from scratch and make it into millions within 10years.
Well…. Because am into business too, I didn’t discourage him but I know it will be hard for him especially when he has no one to help him.
One faithful day, Shola called me and told me that he has conviction about me that he will be happy if we can be in relationship.
“Are you mad?”
I quickly reply that. Haaaaa… what does this guy take me for? When I first visited him in his one bedroom face me and slap you apartment, I feel irritated because the environment was bad and for the fact that he is still staying in one room he can’t stand me. He begged me not to be annoyed and we forget everything.
He didn’t change his attitudes towards me and I loved been around him too because I always learn new thing anytime am with him. More importantly, I found happiness anytime am with him which I don’t find with John.
Sometimes he will still talk about it but I warned him not to say that again if he doesn’t want our friendship to end. Seriously, Shola is the type I want, he has every characteristic I want in a man but he lacks one thing which is money.
He is a child of God, in fact! He can go to any length just to serve God with whatever he has but what about this financial aspect? Is zero!
John and I begin to talk about marriage but I was not happy with it. Not because of the present condition but because I can see very well that we are not met to be together. I broke the news to Shola that am getting married. He cried and said something that really touched me that day.
“Why do you want to marry someone you don’t love Funmi, why do you decide to leave the plan of God because am not rich?”
What is he talking about? How did this guy know what am going through, how does he know that I don’t love this guy? I left his ghetto with annoyance and I send message to him that I don’t want to see him in my wedding. I even told him I will arrest him with Police if I see him close to the venue and I deleted his number.
I deleted every chat from him, every communication from him, I blocked it. You don’t need to tell me that I made stupid decision; I know very well that I did….
Something in me keeps on telling me that am doing something wrong. I shared it with Joy, she praised me that I did good thing. I can’t blame her because John used to give her money too. How I wish I had a friend who has opposite side of Joy’s character then?
I and John got married. Everyone was happy including my mummy but deep inside of me I was not. I didn’t see Shola, I was crying because Shola did not come to my wedding, and I caused it all.
People thought I was crying because I wanted to leave my parents, they don’t know I was crying because I lose great person.
After reception I and John went for our honeymoon for just 1 week because they only gave him 1 week leave from work. I don’t know how he managed to get that one-week self.
Since the day we got back home from the honeymoon have never been happy. John is the only annoyed husband have ever seen in my life. He will not play with me in the house; he will prefer to visit his friend and gist.
“But this man called himself a child of God then, and I think he was. It was then I realized that I have missed something, it was then I knew that not everyone in church is child of God, it was then I knew men can pretend to be nice when their parent is disturbing them for marriage.
John and I became cat and rat in the house. Sometimes he beat me, sometimes he talks to me and send me home. After 4 years of marriage he was fired from his job and he didn’t tell me what caused it, it was then I knew that my husband did not have money.
We now depend on my business and because I was not happy at home my business was not moving fine. We used all our savings to reinvest it into my business but still, things did not work. My husband decides to be using his car to work sometimes because the second car has been taken from him when they sacked him.